1920 Briggs and Stratton Flyer

(source)

No more than a rolling frame of wood and metal, the Flyer could hardly be considered a go-cart, much less an automobile. This tribute to minimalism marked the beginning of a trend that runs through many of the cars in this list, the idea of sacrificing car for money. The early times were no excuse for the Flyer, as other automobile makers such as Cadillac and Rolls Royce were already rolling out luxury cars that made Briggs and Stratton’s two horsepower plank on wheels seem inferior to riding horseback.

1933 Fuller Dymaxion

(source)

The Dymaxion was originally conceived of as a flying blimp-car. Its designer R. Buckminster Fuller was a classic expositor of nonsensical ideas such as this, and when the original intention was shown to be wholly ridiculous, the Dymaxion was stripped of its wings and released as a road-ready vehicle resembling some kind of hideous crossbreed between a blimp and a cable car. The Dymaxion never entered production and its concept models represent little more than a colossal waste of time and money.

1934 Chrystler Airflow

(source)

With a front grille that sort of reminds one of Droopy the dog, the Airflow was far ahead of its time. In actuality, it was quite a good car featuring engineering genius including 50-50 weight distribution and steel space-frame construction. Its biggest downfall appears to be that America was simply not ready for it yet, as its streamlined style appears to have scared consumers from the Chrysler lots. Sales were lower than the bottom of Lake Eerie, and the few who did buy were often shocked by the car’s biggest mechanical issue: its engine had a tendency to fall out.

1957 King Midget Model III

(source)

Sold as a DIY kit, the King Midget had to be assembled by the purchaser. Aside from this presenting a myriad of safety concerns (seeing as the average consumer does not possess the knowledge needed to properly assemble a vehicle), its not surprising that the $500.00 clunker suffered lousy sales, as few people really wanted to build their own. Eventually, government safety crackdowns put the nine horsepower snail out of production.

1958 Ford Edsel

(source)

This unattractive boat of a car was released upon late-1950’s America. The recession was here and this car was simply too expensive and too fuel hungry for many people to justify buying. What else contributed to the historically abysmal sales that the Edsel saw? The car was the victim of a classic mistake that has doomed many a project by many a company: over hype in marketing. America was made to believe that the Edsel was going to be some kind of heavenly super-car that broke all the rules and stretched the limits of the automotive industry. Imagine their surprise when they instead got an overpriced, bloated and heavy…Ford.

1958 MGA Twin Cam

(source)

Classic looks and abhorrent engineering sum this one up. The Twin Cam was one of the first twin cam engines, and turned out to be one of the biggest money and time sucks of all time. Maintaining the car’s fluid spilling, piston incinerating, plug fowling engine required the devotion one expects to give to a dog or a small child. If valve timing, rod integrity, octane measurement and a whole slew of other dormant problems were not constantly checked on, the driver ran the risk of dumping crucial oil, gas, screws and pipes all over the road. Needless to say, he who wishes to go racing and winds up with a dead, smoking hole where the engine used to be is not a satisfied customer. It wasn’t long before word spread and the engine was taken off the market.

1958 Zunndapp Janus

(source)

At a hair-raising 14 horsepower, the Janus reached blood-boiling speeds of 50 MPH (assuming you had a long enough down hill straight away) and gave the uniquely rear-facing passengers a great view of angry motorists riding the bumper of this rust-box catastrophe. The company originally manufactured motorcycles, but then decided to give that up and move on to making the Janus. As a general rule, if you are terrible at selling something with two wheels, you wont be much better at making something with four. The Janus is a (barely) moving example of this.

1961 Amphicar

(source)

A fun and unique concept, the Amphicar was built as a consumer model of the German military vehicle, the Nazi Schwimmwagen. Reaching a top speed of 7 MPH on the water, the Amphicar was more of a show-boat than a truly seaworthy craft. The car’s one downfall was possibly the biggest problem that such an experimental vehicle could feature: It wasn’t 100% waterproof! As a matter of fact, it leaked quite egregiously, and its buoyancy rested squarely on the functioning of the car’s built in bilge pump. If the pump failed to keep up with leakage (which it sometimes could not) the car became a titanic of a ride, sinking to the bottom and leaving its passengers without a paddle. Perhaps due to its small niche of consumers, or perhaps because of its effective death sentence for those who couldn’t swim, the Amphicar was never a very popular choice.

1970 AMC Gremlin

(source)

Often cited as the sorriest looking car ever designed, the AMC Gremlin is the most oddly proportioned car of all time. It appears the designers took a vehicle twice its size and sawed it in half, just behind the drivers seat. With its long, sedan-sized nose, gradually sloping windshield, and abrupt backside, AMC’s attempt to grab its share of the sub-compact car market was met with laughter and ridicule. In a sorry attempt at ironic humor, hot-rod builders through the 1990’s and 2000’s continue to toss monster engines in old Gremlin bodies and tear up the track, hoping to make onlookers chuckle at the idea of a super-fast AMC.

1970 Triumph Stag

(source)

Sadly, the sleek and beautiful styling of the British engineered Stag was all for naught. The car represents a grand bait-and-switch, for after consumers paid the requisite thousands of dollars to roll out of Triumph’s lot in a sexy little convertible, they are soon contending with a sheer nightmare of an engine that failed in a multitude of horrible ways, all of them rendering the car a nice lawn ornament. The pistons shot through the engine block, the aluminum heads warped and twisted, the oil burned bone dry, the timing belts snapped, the bearings would seize and the water pump would malfunction. About the only thing the Stag did reliably was break down.

1971 Ford Pinto

(source)

Better known as “death on wheels”, the Ford Pinto is widely held as one of the worse mistakes in engineering history. Due to the asinine placement of the gas tank directly behind the rear bumper and tendency for the doors to jam shut in rear end collisions, the car became an exploding deathtrap for anyone involved in rather mundane traffic accidents. To make matters worse, the fatuous executives at Ford actually calculated out the cost of repairing the Pinto’s killer design against the cost of potential lawsuits, and found that it would be cheaper to let their drivers roast. This decision goes down as one of our country’s most nauseating business decisions, choosing profit over the lives of the world’s tens of Pinto drivers.

1971 Chevrolet Vega

(source)

Some people consider the Chevy Vega to be the worst car ever to roll out of Detroit. The car suffered crazy rusting, engine fires and cylinder head warping. Quickly after this car hit the market, consumers became quite weary of the money-pit that was the Chevy Vega. Brian Herrman from Illinois, a previous Vega owner had this to say: “What an absolute pile of junk that was. It was not uncommon for the engine to start burning oil before 50,000 miles. The early models were complete rust buckets. The quality control was atrocious. And they had a reverse-hinged hood that came through the windshield in head-on collisions. (more horror stories here).

1975 Trabant

(source)

Crawling along at a glacier’s pace, the 1975 Trabant came stock at a pathetic 18 HP. When the absolutely impractical and incapable car decided to run, it smoked like a New York night club on a Saturday. What else can you expect from a car wherein turning signals and break lights came optional? The Trabant was an utter dumpster vertical of a car and enjoyed a very brief lifespan on the market.

1978 AMC Pacer

(source)

A recent poll by Hagerty Insurance asked enthusiasts to name the worst car design of all time. The winner: The crappy, fishbowl shaped AMC Pacer (better known as “The Mirth-mobile”). Its round cabin nearly cooked you alive in the heat of the sun, as the air-conditioning was ineffectual, failing to keep up with the heat and frequently releasing foul fumes into the driver’s face. The combination of hideous styling, lackluster luxury and totally non-existent performance combined into a car that only someone that hates sunshine and candy could drive.

1980 Chevrolet Corvette 305 California

(source)

You might be wondering why you are seeing the 1980 Corvette 305 on a list of disastrous cars. Corvette is supposed to be synonymous with heart pounding and uncompromising performance, delivering a flair of American sports-car lore and surpassing the buyer’s every expectation. Right? Wrong. The 1980 California model came to consumers on a large dose of Federal tranquilizers. To keep up with new emissions regulations, the car crawled out of the lot with a shameful 180 HP. The embarrassing 305 engine was further throttled through its muddy and inadequate three speed transmission, giving an American legend the appearance of a lion, but with the bite of a fluffy little kitten.

1981 Cadillac Fleetwood V 8-6-4

(source)

The V 8-6-4 was the nation’s first attempt at variable timing, which in today’s world is an amazing and handy little invention. The idea of turning off unnecessary cylinders at low speeds to save gas and reduce waste is an intriguing one, however the technology in 1981 was simply not equipped for such a computer-intensive task. Cadillac’s noble attempt resulted in a drought of sales, as faithful costumers were turned off by the cars’ stalling, clunking, bucking, shaking and utterly horrendous engine. Many opted to bring their vehicle into the shop to have its variable timing system hacked off the engine.

1982 Camaro Iron Duke

(source)

Much like the snailish corvette of two years ago, the legendary Camaro became a neutered puppy in comparison to its pit bull predecessors. Stocked to the teeth with 90 screaming horses, the Iron Duke Camero was outperformed by farm equipment. The incredibly large and over-indulgent hood housed one the 1980’s most disappointing engines, clocking 0-60 in 20 seconds, meaning any modern day Kia Rio would smoke it on the track. Muscle atrophy.

1985 Yugo GV

(source)

Part Car, part SUV, all disaster, the Yugo GV has been called the Mona Lisa of bad cars. Time Magazine reports that those who have driven the Yugo GV have “The distinct feeling of something assembled at gunpoint.” The car lacked so many modern features that “carpet” was listed by the manufacturer as a major selling point. The GV’s engine frequently fell apart for no clear reason other than the razor-thin manufacturing budget of the car. In the end, the GV went in the books as an utter failure to the American public, and no one with any serious need to be anywhere would be getting there in one of these scrap-heaps.

1997 Plymouth Prowler

(source)

Plymouth’s Prowler attracted awe and excitation in its concept phase, seducing hot-rod fans at auto shows long before it hit production. In fact, I remember being at the New York Auto Show the year its concept was revealed and thinking to myself, “Wow, that is going to be one hell of a hot car when it is road ready!” How wrong we all were. Somehow, Plymouth thought it smart to design a ferocious looking classic hot-rod, and toss a mediocre standard engine under the hood. Producing a pathetic 214 horsepower, Prowler owners suffer the underwhelming and emasculating experience of being passed by flatbed trucks on the freeway. Once word hit the streets that the Prowler was all show and no go, few people opted to spend the extra money on the over hyped, low-end Plymouth six-banger.

2001 Pontiac Aztek

(source)

A hideous body styling that is simply painful to look at has made the Aztek one of most hard-to-sell cars ever produced. Oddly placed headlights, colors that look like crayola crayon rejects and odd proportions make for one terrible ride. Unfortunately, Pontiac’s original conception of the vehicle was quite different, however corporate red tape sent the Aztek design through the ringer, mangling the design over and over again until the factory puked out this horrid contraption. Mechanically sound, embarrassingly ugly, the Aztek remains a very unsuccessful vehicle. Plus there’s a tent in the back.