The New York Times is being criticized for publishing a front-page photo of a 19-year-old U.S. soldier, awakened by hostile fire in Afghanistan, firing his weapon while wearing his boxer shorts. Republicans called the photo disgraceful, conservative Democrats claimed they were appalled, and Madonna said, "For the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of my country."
With Sarah Palin weighing in on the issue, Miss California, Carrie Prejean, is still making the news. This story not only has legs...it has great legs. And they're both real. None of that Heather Mills crap to deal with.
A 5.0 earthquake hit L.A. on Sunday. I was shaking like Nancy Pelosi being briefed on a CIA tape proving she was briefed on waterboarding.
A 5.0 earthquake hit L.A. on Sunday. No significant damage was reported in downtown Los Angeles... But in Northern California, some new cracks were spotted in Nancy Pelosi's story about the CIA.
Things were shaking so hard; Governor Schwarzenegger missed the L.A. Coliseum and accidentally sold USC.
Los Angeles got struck by a 5.0 earthquake Sunday. I was shaking like a GM or Chrysler dealer waiting for the mailman.
The ground in Los Angeles was really rocking; Alex Rodriguez's cousin accidentally shot up Manny Ramirez.
John Mayer begged girls to kiss him and leave red lipstick marks on his face during a night out in Los Angeles on Saturday. And if you think that's scandalous, he asked boys to deep kiss him and leave red marks where the paparazzi couldn't see them.
A worker in Germany was boiled alive when the lid suddenly closed on an industrial-sized soup vat he was trying to clean. Whatever you do...don't buy any cans of Campbell's condensed Chicken with Reiss soup.
In the last few days, General Motors and Chrysler have shut down nearly 2,000 car dealers. They've basically fired the last 2,000 guys in America who buy cars from GM and Chrysler.
President Obama's commencement address at Notre Dame was met with another wave of protests by hypocritical, so-called 'pro-life' Catholic priests and followers who did not protest when George "The Prisoner-Executioner" Bush gave a commencement speech there. Of course it was the first time a black President spoke at Notre Dame, and it's probably the last time a quality black athlete commits to attending Notre Dame.
Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steeler starter James Harrison is forgoing the ceremonial winner's trip to the White House to meet with President Obama saying, "If you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl," and that as far as he's concerned, President Obama "would have invited Arizona if they had won." Apparently James Harrison has been hit in the head too many times by Rodney Harrison.
The U.S. government now borrows $1.00 for every $2.00 it spends. We're almost as stupid as the people who lend us the money.
Sales for Ford, GM and Chrysler are down a combined average of 40 percent, but a study by CNW Marketing research says car sales to people who make over $100,000 a year are down only 6 percent. Yes...we're all in the same boat together, but most of us are stripped shirt-less in the galley rowing faster than Judah Ben-Hur.
Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele recently criticized President Obama's use of the word "empathy" as a quality he'd like to see in a Supreme Court Justice by saying, "Sounds like the president's been watching `Dr. Phil' too much." This coming from a guy who talks like he's been listening to Dr. Dre too much.
Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele says because President Obama listed the quality of "empathy" on his criteria for choosing a Supreme Court Justice, Mr. Obama sounds like he's "been watching `Dr. Phil' too much." No, Michael. The president has no time for "Dr. Phil." He's been way too busy watching Sarah Palin and her family on "Jerry Springer" and "Maury Povich."
Director Barry Levinson of "The Natural," "Rain Man" and "Good Morning Vietnam," has a new film coming out called "PoliWood." I'm not sure if it's about politics in Hollywood, or George Washington's dentures.
Did you see today's headline of Variety? “Louie Anderson Eats Lou Dobbs and Anderson Cooper to become Louie Dobbs Anderson Cooper."
Michael Steele, the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, said today that he firmly endorses the idea of a 'two-state solution'. Not for Israel and Palestine...for rebuilding the Republican Party. Start with the two that McCain won, and work up from there.
A new study by the Red Cross says that fishing is the sport that leads to the most water-related deaths...that's amazing. Not that it leads to so many deaths...that anyone considers fishing a sport.
With the State of California in dire financial straits, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has proposed selling the Los Angeles Coliseum. Many Angelinos thought Schwarzenegger said he was in favor of "shelling" the Coliseum. Most actually agreed with it... Especially if there were 80,000 politicians and Wall Street executives in the seats...
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to sell the L.A. Coliseum. Its present seating capacity is about 94,000 people. That's twice as many Californians who still support Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Millions of American workers have lost their jobs since December of 2007, and job losses continue to pile up each month. Apparently, the only position where you can totally screw up and still have real job security is the Speaker of the House.
The Space Shuttle astronauts hold a distinct advantage over Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Today, the Shuttle captain said, "If Sarah thinks she can see Alaska from her house, she should try living on the Atlantis."
"Star Trek" was a strong #2 at the box office this week. It's amazing how many "Star Trek" similarities there are with things that are going on in politics. The Republicans are like Commander Scotty because they "Can't get any more power." Joe Biden is like William Shatner because his hair is fake and he's being left out of all new missions. President Obama is like Spock in that he's consumed by logic and he's got funny ears. The Democrats are like "Star Trek: Voyager" because they're spending most of their time being stalked by a relentless, powerful, dark and evil force...not the Borg...Dick Cheney. Nancy Pelosi is like the android Data because her face never changes. And Arlen Specter is like Security Officer Odo because he's a changeling.
Wow! I think I just figured out how Security Officer "Odo" got his name. One of the largest security officer companies in the nation is called "Off Duty Officers." "ODO." Maybe?